The News Blimp

As we close in on the 2010 Major League baseball season…the game’s bumbling lead Napoleon…one Bud Selig… stammers on and on as usual about the evils of performance enhancers…then refuses to believe there’s a real man’s test for the use of human growth hormone.

So fans…we take you back in song to the “drug free” good ol’ hazy, crazy, major league days of yesteryear….circa 1970. When only a mirror ball full of cocaine and random LSD use was found in the pristine clubhouses at various major league ball parks in America.

Former KSAN-FM program director in San Francisco, Bonnie Simmons…reminded us of Todd Snider’s mesmerizing little acoustic ode to former Pittsburgh Pirate pitcher Dock Ellis…who once tossed a no-hitter while sky high out-of-his-mind on LSD.

America’s Favorite Pastime is one of the greatest sports songs of all time.

Play Ball!

                           The News Blimp 2010

                               The News Blimp 2010

WTF?

31 million Americans are without health care…premiums for some individuals who do have insurance are being jacked up by increments of as much as 31%…people are literally dying at the hands of insurance companies which cancel beneficiaries when they require chemo or other drastic life saving measures…and yet we have a president who is basically begging for support of his health care reform package!

Why the hell aren’t angry, disgusted people marching in the streets of America to support health care reform?

We’ve become a nation of “haves” and “have-nots”…and many of the “haves” in our nation with sound, current health care have become a loud, vocal minority whipped into a “fiscal responsibility” frenzy by media savvy GOP types who could give a flying fuck about those less fortunate than they.

Obviously a prerequisite for their form of fiscal responsibility is to check the sense of responsibility and empathy for fellow Americans at the doors to the congress of the United States before entering.

                                The News Blimp 2010

Face it: There is no such thing as clean coal.

Yet West Virginia senator Jay Rockefeller is pissed that President Obama’s budget ignores West Virginia’s coal industry in favor of cleaner energy alternatives.

This from a reader…

“The trend towards the mass mechanization of coal production…where one giant earth-moving machine replaces 100 men …will soon render the traditional underground miner useless. Thousands of Appalachian communities endure the blasting, coal dust, ruined water and environmental destruction caused by MTR…mountain top removal. They are living in what some call, the ‘Energy Sacrifice Zone’.  The coal industry remains the sole economic force of the state, reaping billions in profits every year, while residents of West Virginia remain among the poorest of the nation. In the coalfields, the imbalance is amplified: while Boone county produces the most coal in the state, 20% of its residents languish below the poverty line.”

The coal mining issue in America is not just about continuing the scorched earth policy of the industry…but more the need…finally…for the respect due an entire, under privileged economic region of our nation…it’s hard working laborers who’ve endured decades of corporate tyranny…and ultimately the sacrifices they’ve made and continue to make in their personal and community well being.

The Blimp Crew suggests you visit this link for more info on the current state of the coal industry in America…and mountain top removal.

Dear Mr. President,

A year has passed since that bitterly cold January day you made history.

And after flipping through the twelve tumultuous calendar pages which we’ve now discarded, we still want to believe you’re the right guy at this time in history to lead us from the dark shadows of 2008 and 2009 and into the hope filled future which your election promised.

But man, we gotta say, right now… it’s tough to believe the next three years will be any better than the last two. Frankly…we feel like we’ve been assaulted and battered. We busted our asses for your candidacy during the election cycle…hoping that you would end the cycle of cynicism and mistrust we have for our politics and for our government.

Instead, Mr. President…we are sorry to say…many of your actions have created more of the same-old, same-old within us.

Because you have allowed Wall Street power interests to continue business as usual. In fact, you placed many of the Street’s scheming thieves in your very own administration. As a result your declaration to the banking industry that “we want our money back”…rings as a token pronouncement for the benefit of those who might not have been paying attention.

You have fallen victim to the Pentagon generals and corporate lobbyists who have promised you victory in God forsaken territories; succumbed to private contractors and the 21st century military industrial complex…those eager to sell you new war toys at the expense of brave lives and national treasure.

And you allowed the very divisiveness you have so passionately argued against to destroy the dream of true national health care reform.

A year later we feel so immature for believing that you could…would…make a difference in our lives…and in our nation.

Perhaps, given time…the next three years…you will have a positive impact.

In your Chicago acceptance speech 15 month ago, you said “There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won’t agree with every decision or policy I make as president.”

We accept that, Mr. President.

But at least, Mr. President…make the kind of effort you so eloquently promised you would, to create the kind of change which would set a new path for our nation’s future, unlike the worn paths so many presidents and Washington bureaucrats have led us down before.

Because, we won’t get fooled again.

There were three great, legendary “Willies” in the 1960’s: Mays, McCovey…and Mitchell.

The first two Willies aimed for the fences.

The third Willie aimed for our souls.

As baseball’s two Willies blazed important paths in so many ways for the ballplayers of today…many of Willie Mitchell’s ground breaking achievements in production and arranging helped pave the way for today’s recording artists.

The following is the Willie Mitchell obituary from The Recording Academy.

We are deeply saddened by the passing of Willie Mitchell.

An accomplished trumpeter who led one of the region’s premier bands of the ’50s, he made the transition to recording star at Hi Records in the ’60s. At Hi he became a vital part of the organization by engineering, producing, scouting talent and eventually running the label. A true renaissance man, Willie Mitchell created his own Memphis sound - a uniquely sophisticated brand of funk.

He put together one of the world’s greatest rhythm sections…Hi Rhythm…featuring Teenie Hodges on guitar, Charles Hodges on organ, Leroy Hodges on bass and drummer Howard Grimes. He made stars of Ann Peebles, Otis Clay, O.V. Wright and Syl Johnson, creating recordings still revered, covered and sampled to this day.

In 1969 while on tour with his Willie Mitchell Band, he met a young singer from Michigan in Midland, Texas and brought him back to Memphis. Together, he and Al Green made history, creating an unparalleled body of work featuring arguably the greatest voice in soul backed by Mitchell’s unique mix of gritty southern R&B and elegant arrangements.

In 2007 he was recognized by the Memphis Chapter of The Recording Academy at The Recording Academy Honors. In 2008 he received an even larger honor from The Recording Academy at the 50th annual GRAMMY Awards - The Trustees Award.

His impact on Memphis and music is immeasurable.

There will probably never be another one like Willie Mitchell.

You know what a Time Sucker is, don’t you?

It’s a seemingly innocent distraction which all of us are guilty of falling prey to at least once or twice a day. A guilty pleasure perhaps. Unfortunately, many of us succumb to the urge to piddle away valuable time and energy at our workplaces these days more often than we should…pleasurably distracted, of course.

Face it America…we’re being time-sucked dry.

Because the distractions add up…and before we’ve realized it…time has been pissed away…essential productivity drained….money lost…

…Economic Recovery Stalled!

Ever wonder how fast The Great Recession might disappear if, en masse, Americans ditched the Time Suckers restraining the nation’s productivity?

Well…let’s see.

The Blimp Crew suggests 5 simple ways you can help our economy recover…f-a-s-t!

1. Stop Twittering…tweeting…or whatever the hell it is you’re doing with your thumbs. Does the world really need to know you’ve finally found that great pair of Jimmy Choo Glitter Slingback pumps you’ve been searching 3 months for?  Now of course…buying the Jimmy Choo’s is OK…big loot in the tills at retailers and all that. But tweeting it to the world is a Time Sucker. Big time.

2. Stop watching poker tournaments on ESPN. If you dig watching cards dealt to a bunch of pasty white guys sitting around some Vegas card room at 3 o’clock on a sunny afternoon…you need to jack yourself up out of the Lazy Boy and grab a life. Surely, some sort of meaningful employment will follow. That, or the desire to seek the true essence of Krishna.

3. Stop trying to lose weight on the Taco Bell Drive-Thru Diet. Gonna really waste time on this one. If you’re stupid enough to believe you’ll deflate that Michelin tire draped around your middle by pounding down cheesy nachos and greasy burritos without leaving the comfort of your Kia…well, we have a dozen low-carb Krispy Kreme donuts we’d like you to suck on. Try mixing something green into your stomach once in awhile. After your body gets over the initial shock that a fairly healthy item has fallen into it…it might actually allow you to experience the beauty of metabolism. The mind, miraculously…will follow.

4. Stop Facebook-ing. If you have 329 Facebook friends..and you found ‘em all without actually speaking with any of them…but rather by methodically tagging each one ala Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon…they are most assuredly, not your friends. They are the avatars lining up to be the extras in James Cameron’s next 3-D sequel. Oh…and that’ll be a Time Sucker too.

5. Stop sexting. If the only sex you’re getting is slipping through your fingers…well, you’re really wasting your time. Here’s a clue: Real sex is where two people (…or more. Maybe three people? Certain geography may apply. Check offer for details.) actually touch, grope and/or fondle warm human parts. And it helps if you care about the human parts you happen to be touching, groping and/or fondling. If your human parts are defective…well, then…we might understand the sexting sensation. But..not really. We just said that to make you feel better. After all…isn’t that all that sexters really care about?

Feeling better right now.

Kind of like what we want for the economy…

…To feel better. Right now.

Suckers.

When you love music as much as the Blimp Crew does…it’s really hard not to look back at the past 12 months and create a minds eye list of eardrum satisfying fave raves which…thank God…made a pretty lousy 2009 at least tolerable.

So…here, in no particular order…are 5 collections of music which helped keep The News Blimp aloft…while it seemed that for most of last year, much of our world was crashing forcefully down around us…

Black Joe Lewis & The Honeybears/Tell ‘Em What Your Name Is  No other band in 2009 unleashed such an infectiously strong blend of party rockin’ soul and blues as these Austin, Texas guys. If you can’t get your ass up off the couch when they rip into Boogie or Sugarfoot…you died last year.

Joe Bonamassa/Live At The Royal Albert Hall Simply put, this is a white man on a mission to save the black man’s blues…and he’s doing a pretty damn good job of it. To really capture the essence of the gig…go for the DVD…and head straight for Woke Up Dreaming. Everything you ever imagined about live music being so totally awe inspiring emotionally will be validated on that track…as Bonamassa tears it up for 10 plus minutes with only his voice and acoustic guitar. Goosebumps.

Booker T/Potato Hole Who woulda figured this? 64 year-old Stax legend Booker T. Jones hadn’t released a collection of tunes in practically decades…then along comes this from outta-left field ear busting monster collaboration with Neil Young and Drive-By Truckers. Mr. Jones proves he can still romp…and it’s found as you chomp down hard on the cover of OutKast’s Hey Ya…and then get your ears kicked sideways by Pound It Out. Never thought we’d say this about work from Booker T…but here we go: Crank it up!

Bob Dylan/Modern Times The man could be kicking back somewhere comfy…resting on his laurels and sipping or smoking whatever makes him happy. But, nope. Rather, here roars Thunder on the Mountain…and Dylan concocting 9 additional tumbling, rumbling grooves which might as well serve as the soundtrack for the Boomers in Century 21. Someday Baby, maybe. Modern Times, indeed.

Rolling Stones/Get Yer Ya Ya’s Out If Dylan’s Modern Times is designated the soundtrack for Boomers in the 2010’s…then this re-mastered 40th anniversary 1970 live set from Mick and the boys was the soundtrack for the post-flower power 1970’s. The Stones during this era were so musically tight it practically made all other bands irrelevant. And when they were introduced as “the greatest rock and roll band in the world”…it was no hype. It was God’s truth…and 7 minutes of Sympathy for the Devil proves it. Paint It Black, for sure.

Now go out and make some noise in 2010.

We Can’t Make It Here Anymore-James McMurtry

Vietnam Vet with a cardboard sign
Sitting there by the left turn line
Flag on the wheelchair flapping in the breeze
One leg missing, both hands free
No one’s paying much mind to him
The V.A. budget’s stretched so thin
And there’s more comin’ home from the Mideast war
We can’t make it here anymore

That big ol’ building was the textile mill
It fed our kids and it paid our bills
But they turned us out and they closed the doors
We can’t make it here anymore

See all those pallets piled up on the loading dock
They’re just gonna set there till they rot
‘Cause there’s nothing to ship, nothing to pack
Just busted concrete and rusted tracks
Empty storefronts around the square
There’s a needle in the gutter and glass everywhere
You don’t come down here ‘less you’re looking to score
We can’t make it here anymore

The bar’s still open but man it’s slow
The tip jar’s light and the register’s low
The bartender don’t have much to say
The regular crowd gets thinner each day

Some have maxed out all their credit cards
Some are working two jobs and living in cars
Minimum wage won’t pay for a roof, won’t pay for a drink
If you gotta have proof just try it yourself Mr. CEO
See how far 5.15 an hour will go
Take a part time job at one of your stores
Bet you can’t make it here anymore

High school girl with a bourgeois dream
Just like the pictures in the magazine
She found on the floor of the laundromat
A woman with kids can forget all that
If she comes up pregnant what’ll she do
Forget the career, forget about school
Can she live on faith? live on hope?
High on Jesus or hooked on dope
When it’s way too late to just say no
You can’t make it here anymore

Now I’m stocking shirts in the Wal-Mart store
Just like the ones we made before
‘Cept this one came from Singapore
I guess we can’t make it here anymore

Should I hate a people for the shade of their skin
Or the shape of their eyes or the shape I’m in
Should I hate ‘em for having our jobs today
No I hate the men sent the jobs away
I can see them all now, they haunt my dreams
All lily white and squeaky clean
They’ve never known want, they’ll never know need
Their shit don’t stink and their kids won’t bleed
Their kids won’t bleed in the damn little war
And we can’t make it here anymore

Will work for food
Will die for oil
Will kill for power and to us the spoils
The billionaires get to pay less tax
The working poor get to fall through the cracks
Let ‘em eat jellybeans let ‘em eat cake
Let ‘em eat shit, whatever it takes
They can join the Air Force, or join the Corps
If they can’t make it here anymore

And that’s how it is
That’s what we got
If the president wants to admit it or not
You can read it in the paper
Read it on the wall
Hear it on the wind
If you’re listening at all
Get out of that limo
Look us in the eye
Call us on the cell phone
Tell us all why

In Dayton, Ohio
Or Portland, Maine
Or a cotton gin out on the great high plains
That’s done closed down along with the school
And the hospital and the swimming pool
Dust devils dance in the noonday heat
There’s rats in the alley
And trash in the street
Gang graffiti on a boxcar door
We can’t make it here anymore

Music and lyrics © 2004 by James McMurtry

As the clock ticks toward Friday’s Dick Clark moment, the Blimp Crew hovers over…Generation “I”.

The first wave of kids born after 1994.

1994.

The generally accepted calendar moment during which the Internet began it’s domination and manipulation of communications and cultures…truth and fiction.

As we roll toward the close of Decade 1 of Century 21…and we examine what possibilities loom beyond the horizon for Generation I…we ask one, simple, frightening question:

Is Generation I  doomed to dumbly stumble along a treacherous path to it’s future…or will it be able to confidently and swiftly take advantage of super-technological marvels of the era to help create a future worth living along the way?

Generation I faces big obstacles and shiny distractions. Will it choose to twitter away valuable time along a route littered with self-absorbed, unproductive tweets…glossy, yet impersonal downloads and uploads…seductively hypnotizing high def TV’s…time shifting digital entertainment…and bourgeois game consoles?

Add to those thoughts the fact that Generation I enters the second decade of this century woefully under educated. Hell, before long…uneducated.  With the numbers of those who want and can be educated shrinking fast.

State and federal budget crises have slashed educational funding…generally allowing only the most highly motivated and societal upper class among the generation to thrive.  Unprecedented job insecurity…under employment, unemployment and debt…is the perfect recipe for waste and trouble…

…and as a result…the sad, very real possibility that their lives will be many times less satisfying than their Generation “X” moms and dads experienced not so long ago.

Unless…

(To be continued…)