Archive for the ‘Science’ Category

Everything is broken.

Friday, May 21st, 2010

 

Bob Dylan nailed it…years ago.

Broken lines, broken strings
Broken threads, broken springs,
Broken idols, broken heads,
People sleeping in broken beds.
Ain’t no use jiving,
Ain’t no use joking,
Everything is broken.

Broken bottles, broken plates,
Broken switches, broken gates,
Broken dishes, broken parts,
Streets are filled with broken hearts.
Broken words never meant to be spoken,
Everything is broken.

Seems like every time you stop and turn around
Something else just hit the ground

Broken cutters, broken saws,
Broken buckles, broken laws,
Broken bodies, broken bones,
Broken voices on broken phones
Take a deep breath, feel like you’re chokin’,
Everything is broken.

Every time you leave and go off someplace
Thangs/Things fall to pieces in my face

Broken hands on broken ploughs,
Broken treaties, broken vows,
Broken pipes, broken tools,
People bending broken rules.
Hound dog howling, bull frog croaking,
Everything is broken.

-Bob Dylan

“Everything is Broken”-RL Burnside

National Eyeliner: G-spot app coming!

Thursday, January 7th, 2010

Say ahhh. Finally, health breakthrough.

Saturday, December 19th, 2009

Senate Unveils CompromiseCare
Details of Healthcare Plan Revealed

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)

The United States Senate today unveiled details of it’s health care plan, tentatively called CompromiseCareTM:

– Under CompromiseCareTM, people with no coverage will be allowed to keep their current plan.

…and

Medicare will be extended to 55-year-olds as soon as they turn 65.
– You will have access to cheap Canadian drugs if you live in Canada.
– States whose names contain vowels will be allowed to opt out of the plan.
You get to choose which doctor you cannot afford to see.
– You will not have to be pre-certified to qualify for cremation.
– A patient will be considered “pre-existing” if he or she already exists.
– You’ll be free to choose between medications and heating fuel.
– Patients can access quality health care if they can prove their name is “Lieberman.”
– You will have access to natural remedies, such as death.

National Eyeliner: Nuke test fallout?

Friday, May 29th, 2009

                               The News Blimp 2009

Emily Litella: On asteroids and bass players.

Thursday, May 14th, 2009

 

If Emily Litella read the news today…oh boy…

“What’s all this I hear about asteroids and bass players?

How did asteroids get to be such a big deal with a few guys who play bass in rock bands and symphonies?

When did all those bass players decide that shooting asteroids in the sky would help them play their bottom heavy instruments with more power? Is the bottom end too heavy for them to carry a tune onstage nowadays?

And can they really make more money in a band if they shoot asteroids?

What’s the deal? Are we raising a bunch of money grubbing musical wimps now?

Can’t any of the new bass players hit the low notes like Stanley Clarke, Greg Lake and Dave Holland did in the good old days without shooting asteroids? I’ll bet you neither John Paul Jones nor John Entwistle ever had to shoot asteroids to hit the low ones.

And those guys who played the big double bass on Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony back in the 19th century!

Wow!

Dit-dit-dit-daaaah!!! Three quick G’s and a long E-flat. Those bass heroes never needed asteroids! The most memorable musical phrase of all time…performed by asteroid free bass players!

Don’t these new guys know that playing the bass today should show respect for all the bass players who played before them who weren’t doing asteroids?

Yes, yes…I know…it’s only entertainment…but do the new bass players really think they can play better than the old timers because they cheat with shooting asteroids for inspiration?

Oh, what’s that?

It’s not asteroids and bass players.

It’s steroids and baseball players.

What are they?

Oh, well then

…never mind.”


Today with Del and Aggie: This GOP is a gas.

Monday, April 20th, 2009

We need to stop drunks from killing us.

Friday, April 10th, 2009

The deaths of three innocent auto passengers in Fullerton, California two nights ago, which included 22 year-old Los Angeles Angels pitcher Nick Adenhart, begs us for an answer to this question:

How many more lives will be destroyed before the vicious results of drunk driving are eliminated?

Regardless of the sickening numbers of lives lost, the brave efforts of groups like MADD to educate…safer vehicles…and increasingly stiff consequences for drivers who choose to drive while boozed up…the bloody deaths on our roads and highways continue.

But perhaps the disgusting, senseless deaths of people like Adenhart and his two friends can serve as a rallying point for activists, legislatures and auto manufacturers to begin a much needed process to rid our roads of vehicular murderers forever.

Technology is available now to keep drunk drivers off the streets. Ignition interlock devices…breathalyzer like systems that are designed to prevent intoxicated drivers from starting automobiles…have been installed in vehicles of convicted DUI drivers for years. These systems prevent autos from starting if sensors detect breath alcohol above safe, preset levels.

It’s time we demand that these types of devices be installed in all new vehicles beginning immediately.

Drunk driving has been embedded in our culture for generations. A problem so deeply embedded will not be eliminated without drastic, decisive, proactive action.

But if it will take the better part of the next generation to segue into use of high tech ignition systems in our vehicles…at least let us begin now.

Collectively as a society we must put our feet down now to begin stamping out these highway atrocities. Over time, perhaps as long as 15-20 years, the numbers of these breath sensitive vehicles on our roads will outnumber older vehicles without the systems.

To do nothing after so many lives have been lost would be an insult to those who’ve died…and to future generations of innocent, law abiding pedestrians, passengers and motorists.

National Eyeliner: Fast food arms race.

Wednesday, March 25th, 2009

Unlike GM’s…these cars might actually roll.

Friday, March 6th, 2009

News broke yesterday that General Motors could soon cease to operate as a going concern.

Duh.

Why does that “revelation” come as a surprise? How come that GM headline takes a bunch of the blame for the stock market dropping another bundle Thursday?

What, this information wasn’t expected by “savvy” Wall Street traders?

Here’s a clue, folks. When the stock price of a corporate Dow component falls 92% in 12 months…posts losses of $31 billion during the same period…then loses another $13 billion in government bailout funds in less than 60 days…and now wants another $30 billion while it attempts to restructure it’s organization by March 31st…the wheels have fallen off for good, people.

Add to that ledger sheet red ink the fact they make crappy vehicles. Nobody wants them. Why? Because behind the blustery “Buy American” campaign blows the truth that Americans demand reliable cars. Buying one from GM doesn’t fit that profile.

Consumer Reports magazine’s recent auto reliability survey shows that Japanese vehicles continue to dominate reliability studies. In fact CR is recommending 90-100 percent of some of those vehicles…while the consumer group can advise buyers to purchase a mere 17% of GM products…and none of Chrysler’s.

And we should toss more dough at these guys?

We don’t think so.

But here’s a terrific alternative for auto investors to ponder…innovative cars that, unlike GM’s, might actually roll.

French inventor Guy Negre has created…no joke…The Air Car. It’s a vehicle that runs exclusively on compressed air. Free, abundant, nonflammable, nonpolluting air.

Discover how this Formula 1 engine designer figured it out…and when it’ll be rolling down a highway in a lane near you soon. It’s got all the other alternatives…hybrids, ethanol, fuel cells, diesel, natural gas…beat by a mile.

Now that’s news.

Satellite radio: Doomed from the beginning.

Thursday, February 12th, 2009

Now that Sirius XM stock is circling the drain at 11 cents a share…many analysts are linking satellite radio’s potential ultimate failure with the poor economic times we’re experiencing.

While the lousy economy is certainly part of the problem…that’s the one easy excuse for why it’s dying. But there are many other reasons why SatRad is likely to crash before too long.

Truth is…when competitors Sirius and XM began staffing their shiny new companies…they hired the same disposable radio executives and programmers who helped speed AM radio to irrelevancy…then diluted FM radio to nothing more than syndicated Morning Zoo programs and consultant driven “hit music” drivel.

Bottom line: when the terrestrial radio “experts” took control and began running the fledgling Sirius and XM services…the new medium was doomed to failure…barely before it had the opportunity to take full flight.

These unimaginative, long time industry guys thought all they had to do to create a hit with consumers was to program music stuff exactly the way they had on terrestrial airwaves…but without the commercials. And then they programmed it over and over again…on almost 75 music channels.

Granted, there were a few program exceptions. But what the majority of their channel lineups resulted in was a mishmash of artists and music rotating and crossing over from channel to channel…so much duplication that in many cases a listener never really had a clue what “distinct” channel was being heard.

Another glaring error: programmers created special channels for big time artists like AC/DC, the Stones, Bruce Springsteen, The Dead…thinking it’d be cool for their fans to be able to tune to a spot where they could listen to nothing but their fave raves 24-7.

But real fans of The Dead, Stones, etc….already own all the music they need from those artists. Why in the world would consumers want to pay for something they’ve probably had in CD collections or on their iPods for years?

Where was the common sense?

Duh.

The real knockout blows were landed to the guts of the struggling entities, however,  when management fell victim to “star power”; the mistaken belief that throwing hundreds of millions of dollars at Howard Stern, Martha Stewart, Oprah and Major League Baseball would lure more subscribers.

At that point, satellite radio jumped the shark. The business model had been broken beyond repair. No way could the excessive talent contracts be covered financially by a few hundred thousand new subscribers.

Finally, with the merger…many channel format choices became homogenized…with several popular channels either dumped completely…(Sirius Disorder was one example; an eclectic blend of unrestricted personalities and inspiring new music similar to 1960’s, early 70’s progressive FM stations)…or combined. Those moves alienated a lot of subscribers.

Combine those irreparable management and programming mistakes with the numerous commercials aired in lengthy time clusters on the news, sports and non-music entertainment channels…toss in really terrible customer service…and presto…a real recipe for disaster was baked.

That said, The Blimp Crew has been a Sirius subscriber almost since it’s initial launch date. With all it’s faults…satellite radio is wonderful in many ways. For all it’s programming inconsistencies and ineptitude, there is more diversity than one will ever find on terrestrial stations. Plus, piling up air miles coast-to-coast each year, we love the fact that we can fly from one time zone to the next…and never lose a program.

What’s the real shame in the medium’s potential failure is that it could have been successful. Perhaps not wildly so…but it might have been an attractive alternative to what the old broadcast model used to be.

But instead of developing unique, innovative programming to match up with 21st century technology, Sirius and XM chose to follow the worn paths tread for years by radio industry dinosaurs…rather than launch exciting, relevant airwaves into space, lead by new age pioneers.

Thud.

Bottled water begins to dry up.

Friday, November 21st, 2008

The Blimp Crew’s mission today?

We gotta find some good news out in the wild blue yonder, because all the bad news out there is driving us absolutely nuts.

Hey, look! Out on the horizon…there’s some really good news approaching The Blimp.

It’s a flight carrying consumers away from bottled water.

What a sight…Yes!

Finally…folks are beginning to discover that there are better ways to quench one’s thirst other than chugging H2O from plastic bottles.

Washington University in St. Louis has decided to end bottled water sales on campus. Beginning January, campus vending machines will no longer sell the stuff, nor will campus restaurants.

“It used to be chic to be seen at the gym with expensive bottled water. Now, the plastic throwaways are a no-no.” “The Tide Is Changing on Bottled Water”…writes Wendy Williams. “At my gym, almost no one wants to be seen swigging from throw-away plastic anymore.”

NBC’s Today Show contributor Marisa Belger’s recent online piece,  “Tap Local Resources, Not Bottled Water”…makes a good case against senseless plastic bottle waste, as well as shooting down the “safer than tap” fallacy.

“I think people are realizing they are wasting money buying water that’s the same as what comes from their tap,” says, Erik Yaverbaum, founder of Tappening, which encourages people to drink tap water.

Not to mention the seventeen million barrels of oil we can save each year. That’s the amount which was used to produce bottle plastic for water consumed by Americans alone in 2007.

See…we did find some good news!

Oh, shoot.

Friday, August 15th, 2008

Kim Jong Su…a North Korean competitor at the Beijing Olympics… is one of several disqualified from the Games this week after testing positive for banned substances.

Big deal? Nah. Performance enhanced cheating is so common now we tend to ho-hum the disclosures.

But for gawdsakes…Kim Jong Su is a guy with a gun! He’s a shooter! You know…as in shooting at targets. Stationary targets. Targets that you shoot at as you stand in one place without moving!

Now shooters are shootin’ up for shooting at friggin’ targets!

Evidently Jong Su didn’t believe he was quite the crack shot he needed to be before entering the Games…and thought just maybe he might need some extra pharmaceutical help before winning the silver medal in 50 meter pistol and a bronze in the 10 meter air pistol.

So, he fired off a couple of rounds into himself of Propranolol…a beta-blocker banned in precision sports such as shooting and archery.

It should be clear to everyone after what this wack job Jong Su tried to pull off in Beijing…that there’ll always be competitors…inferior or superior…who’ll feel the need for that extra shot or rub of something special for a chance to cream the opposition.

Because, to just about everyone…winning is everything.

However…in the case of Kim Jong Su…firing away at targets with what he thought was his best shot…turned out instead to be no shot at all…at least for his aim at Olympic fame.

Crumplin’ jacked trash (in a flash, flash, flash).

Saturday, July 19th, 2008

In a flash…your trash could become a sought-after commodity for fuel production.

The disastrous effects which the world’s food economies experienced this year as a result of the frenzied rush to produce corn based ethanol trampled much of the excitement surrounding it’s use as an alternative fuel.

In spite of the recent ethanol backlash…new, cost effective, non-corn ethanol technologies are surfacing quickly. Broadly labeled cellulosic ethanolseveral innovative conversion processes offer hope that low cost non-corn ethanol could replace 20-30 million gallons of petro-fuels within a few short years.

Perhaps the most intriguing new system of the bunch is proposed by Fulcrum BioEnergya California startup which “would turn garbage from homes and businesses into transportation fuel.”

Garbage haulers would dump loads of trash at the Fulcrum BioEnergy plant east of Reno, Nevada…where a catalytic process would turn the garbage into ethanol.

And that’d be a gas, gas, gas.

Hey, you wanna supersize that?

Friday, July 18th, 2008

Leading the nation in obesity, the…

Is the answer blowin’ in the wind?

Friday, July 11th, 2008

 

Oil tycoon T. Boone Pickens announces his energy plan for America.

How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man?
Yes, ‘n how many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand?
Yes, ‘n how many times must the cannon balls fly
Before they’re forever banned?
The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind,
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.

How many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
Yes, ‘n how many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?
Yes, ‘n how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died?
The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind,
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.

How many years can a mountain exist
Before its washed to the sea?
Yes, ‘n how many years can some people exist
Before they’re allowed to be free?
Yes, ‘n how many times can a man turn his head,
Pretending he just doesn’t see?
The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind,
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.

Blowin’ In The Wind-Bob Dylan

Losing the thirst for bottled water.

Thursday, June 19th, 2008

 

For the past ten years, consumers swallowed the manufactured hype that drinking bottled water was better for them than the water available from the faucets in their own homes.

Spurred by rapid inflation growth now taking it’s toll on household expenses, it’s dawning on many shoppers that the expense of buying drinking water in plastic bottles is a cost they can easily avoid…by simply turning on their taps at home.

Of course, the corporate giants that realized soaring profits for much of the past ten years have developed strategies to pump up shrinking sales.

In spite of these new marketing campaigns, consumers finally grasp the incredible waste of resources and money spent on bottled water…water which is sometimes actually worse than that which flows from public water sources…

…And at price points that have them believing they’ve been pouring their hard earned money…down the drain.

Neil’s ‘59 hot rod LincVolt.

Friday, June 6th, 2008

  

For years, rock legend Neil Young has found time during his career to support causes he’s felt deserve attention…such as the Bridge School and Farm Aid benefits. 

Now Neil is actively throwing his support behind a real chrome dream…replacing America’s dependence on fossil fuels with electricity to drive the nation’s automobiles.

In a quest to develop a 100 mile per gallon vehicle, Neil is working with little known Midwest inventor Jonathan Goodwin and a small group of investors in an effort to win the X PRIZE Foundation competition…an organized mission to bring about radical breakthroughs for the benefit of humanity. 

“We want to re-power the American Dream”…and the Young-Goodwin team is using Neil’s 1959 Lincoln Continental convertible to prove it can be done…by morphing the 19 foot long, 2 and a half ton, 10 mpg, 0-60mph in 8 seconds beast…into a fuel sipping 0-60mph in 6 seconds, 100 mpg thoroughbred they’ve named the LincVolt.    

“I was born to do this”, Young has said. “By creating this new power technology we hope to reduce the demand for petro-fuels enough to eliminate the need for war over energy policies, thereby enhancing the security of the USA and other nations throughout the world.”

Our earth daze.

Saturday, April 19th, 2008

 

Earth Day 2008.  

Definition: A 24 hour interlude celebrating Mother Earth…when the environmental hypocrisy of mankind is postponed by it’s eagerness to promote all that is ”green” to help save the planet. 

Hey, we’re all for attempting to crack civilization’s reckless 21st century spending habits on environmentally unsafe, earth destroying products…even if most of the latest eco-friendly goods and services merely serve as excuses for trendy new corporate marketing campaigns. Save the planet! Well, at least once a year…by buying solar garden lights at Home Depot…organic cotton clothing at Wal-Mart…or CFC free Gillette shaving gel.

Ha! Gotta start somewhere, right? 

But while consumers are busy spending loot on new stuff good for the battle to save Mother Earth…the harsh reality is that the macro-environmental war is being lost at an alarmingly rapid rate.   

Sobering examples: 

The new farm bill before congress will provide subsidies expected to result in the deaths of millions of crop pollinating honeybees…with little funding in the package for research to determine how to save the vitally important insects. Bees are dying by the millions because new pesticides create insect memory loss and destroy fragile navigation systems, preventing them from feeding. Plant life requires pollination. Short take: no bees, no food.   

Chinook salmon formerly found in abundance in waters off the California and Oregon coasts are disappearing because they’ve been overexploited for generations. It’s a fish whose population is fading so quickly, that without a complete and immediate fishing ban could soon be placed on the endangered species list. We face not only the loss of this incredible creature as a nature and food asset, but the economic impact from the collapse of an entire industry as well. 

Growing grain to harvest for fuel use, rather than for human consumption is beginning to starve us. People are dying because we are choosing to put grain in our vehicles instead of in our stomachs. Many of the world’s largest agricultural producers are growing crops for biofuels rather than for food. Global food prices are skyrocketing. Subsidies to encourage crop growth for alternative fuels use is now killing people in developing nations.  

Do what you can to help celebrate Earth Day 2008. Every bit will help. But know the battle will not be won by simply buying green shaving gel or hip garden lamps. The battle will only be won if we can discard our inherent greed, selfishness and shortcuts to profit. 

That’ll be the real Mother.  

Escalade…ing hunger.

Wednesday, April 16th, 2008

Cornholed by ethanol.

Thursday, April 10th, 2008

 

What do a mildly entertaining Hollywood hit and the energy crisis have in common?  

Well, The Blimp landed at a local cineplex recently to catch the flick “21”. If you haven’t seen it…the basic storyline is about a team of brilliant MIT students who, mentored by a greedy math prof, learn how to channel the sharpness of their minds into card counting and big time blackjack wins in Vegas. Smart kids learn how to gamble and make off with windfall profits. Not very challenging intellectually, but a fine way to pass an hour and a half.

The real challenge however, was found at the “refreshment” stand…challenging because we paid 12 bucks for two movie sized bags of  popcorn. Listen, we understand high profit junk snacks at the candy counter are all part of the movie-outing adventure…but we almost choked on the corn before the kernels had a chance to stick in our throats.  

And it’s all because we’ve decided to fuel our machines rather than ourselves…with corn. 

The cost of living for every American is beginning to skyrocket…thanks in no small part to the false promise of ethanol. While we’re getting hit every week with higher gas prices at the pump…the petro-dependence crisis we all face is beginning to hit us where it really hurts…in our bellies.  

We are collectively being suckered by ethanol producers and Washington into believing that ethanol is the great salvation of our energy-consumed nation. But it is NOT. While we are racing to grow corn to convert to bio-fuel for our ravenous vehicles…corn prices have doubled in the past couple of years…because as a gasoline substitute it consumes almost 20 percent of the crop. Yet, with all the corn now dedicated to ethanol…it only replaces roughly 3 percent of our gasoline dependency. 

So, supermarket prices are rising sharply. Because of the ethanol disaster, the continuing escalation of food prices will result in emptier stomachs and more stretched-to-the-limit household budgets. 

Will it have been worth the gamble to replace hydrocarbons with carbohydrates? Unlike like the kids in “21” who outwitted the games in Vegas to win big…it’s not in the cards.

We think this nation’s gamble with ethanol will result in all of us becoming big losers.